Saturday, May 23, 2020

The Big Leap

34.  #OneThousandBookReviews


This book is by Doctor Gay Hendricks.  He starts out the book by saying we all have an Upper Limit.  And there is a secret to breaking that limit so we can receive and give all the love we want and need.  He realized this one day when he’d called the summer camp his daughter was at because he was missing her and worried about her.  After being reassured she was okay.  He started wondering why he’d gone from being so happy and on top of the world to being depressed.  “Suddenly the light of awareness dawned on me:  I manufactured the stream of painful images because I was feeling good!  Some part of me was afraid of enjoying positive energy for any extended period of time.”  He had reached his Upper Limit. 

He realized the whole world was like this.  We have a period of peace and then we go to war.  We go through economic expansion and then depression or recession. 

“The Problem:  I have a limited tolerance for feeling good.  When I hit my Upper Limit, I manufacture thoughts that make me feel bad.  The problem is bigger than just my internal feelings, though: I seem to have a limited tolerance for my life going well in general.  When I hit my Upper Limit, I do something that stops my positive forward trajectory.”

If you want to move to the Zone of Genius there are 4 questions you need to ask yourself. 

1.        Am I willing to increase the amount of time every day I feel good inside?

2.       Am I willing to increase the amount of time that my whole life goes well?

3.       Am I willing to feel good and have my life go well all the time?

4.       Are you willing to take the Big Leap to your ultimate level of success in love, money, and creative contribution?

 Maynard Webb was the chief operating officer of eBay.  He could’ve rested on his laurels.  But he left his comfort zone and moved to the zone of genius.  He started a company, Live Ops, which is revolutionizing customer service.  He’s using himself fully, using everything he’s learned to make a bigger difference in the world. 

 Then he tells the story of Dr. Richard Maynard who was offered a position of a 3 million dollar salary.  But when he found out he would have 2 weeks less of vacation he got into an argument with them.  And was then given a letter that said to the force of his position they were not interested in hiring him anymore.  For years after that he’d wake up to a knot in his stomach.  Then he realized what he’d really been saying to the man he blew up at was, “Wait a minute!  Three million dollars!  That’s way more than I’m worth.  I cannot allow this!” 

 He refers to this moment as his “Three-Million-Dollar gift.  He formed 2 questions to ask in his life:  “How much love and abundance am I willing to allow?  How am I getting in my own way?”

 He realized his biggest resistance was his fear of reaching his full potential.  “As I explored this fear, I realized that making such a big commitment put everything on the line.  It eliminated any excuse I’d ever allowed myself for failing to achieve what I set out to do.” 

 “After making the commitment to going the distance, any excuse that crept into my mind sounded hollow, even ridiculous, as if Columbus had sailed back to Europe and said, ‘Well, we didn’t find land, but we might have if I hadn’t gotten a nasty cold.’” 

 “Many of our fears are based on the ego, the part of us that’s focused on getting recognition and protecting us from social ostracism.  In the Zone of Genius, your ego is unnecessary; living there is its own reward.”  But your ego won’t go without a big fight.  Your ego will give you all kinds of fears about positive changes. 

 Fritz Perls, M.D., the psychiatrist and founder of Gestalt therapy says, “Fear is excitement without the breath.”  This statement means, “the very same mechanisms that produce excitement also produce fear, and any fear can be transformed into excitement by breathing fully with it.” 

 When you feel fear celebrate it with a big breath like you do on your birthday when you blow out your candles.  “Do that and your fear turns into excitement.  Do it more, and your excitement turns into exhilaration.”

 “The goal in life is not to attain some imaginary ideal; it is to find and fully use our own gifts.” 

 Each of us have an inner thermostat for how much love and abundance we accept in our life.  This thermostat is set in childhood.  “Your capacity expands in small increments each time you consciously let yourself enjoy money you have, the love you feel, and the creativity you are expressing in the world.  As that capacity for enjoyment expands, so does your financial abundance, the love you feel, and the creativity you express.”

 “If you focus for a moment, you can always find some place in you that feels good right now.  Your task is to give expanding positive feeling your full attention.  When you do, you will find it expands with your intention.  Let yourself enjoy it as long as you possibly can.”

 A classic example of people who hit their Upper Limit are lottery winners.  When they become millionaires they sabotage their life.

 You don’t get rid of you’re upper limit problem by solving it, but dissolving it.  You have to bring awareness to it’s underpinnings.  Then it will disappear. 

 “Our activities in the world occur in 4 main zones.  1. The zone of incompetence.  Don’t waste your time doing  things you’re not good at.  2. The zone of competence.  A doctor sent him referred a woman to him who was an executive at a small firm.  He says that often people get illnesses that have vague hard-to-diagnos symptoms”  She had chronic fatigue.  He asked her if she could do anything she wanted what would it be.  She responded that she wouldn’t work at the company at all  But for an environmental project her heart was set on.  3.  The zone of excellence.  The trap with this one is to stay in your comfort zone and not move on to the zone of genius.  This is the zone all your family and friends want you in.  4.  The Zone of Genius is where ALL your special skills and strengths are being used.  You can move into your zone of genius in 10 minutes a day and eventually build it up to 70 percent.

 There are 4 barriers we run into that makes us reach our Upper Limit.  They are fears or false beliefs we picked up in childhood.  They hold the Upper Limit in place.  Barrier #1 Feeling Fundamentally Flawed.  The first thing to do is to shine the light of awareness on the thought that you don’t deserve to be successful because you are flawed. 

 “The fear of being fundamentally flawed brings with it a related fear.  It’s the fear that if you did make a full commitment to living your Zone of Genius, you might fail.  It’s the belief that even your genius is flawed, and that if you expressed it in a big way, it wouldn’t be good enough.  This belief tells you to play it safe and stay small.  That way, if you fail, at least you fail small.”

 Second Barrier – Disloyalty and abandonment…Fear that if you expand your success that you’ll end up all alone, be disloyal to your roots, and leave behind people from your past. 

 Barrier #3 – Believing that more success brings a bigger burden.  “I can’t expand to my highest potential because I’d be an even bigger burden than I am now.”  When the author was born his mother was a widow with a 6 year old and him to raise.  She was very poor.  His birth was a celebration for his grandparents.  But a burden for his mother.  He didn’t realize till well in his 30’s that that is why he limited his success.; because he thought he didn’t deserve it.    

 Barrier #4 – the crime of outshining.  One of his clients felt guilty for decades because his sister died.  When he was a teenager his parents bought him a grand piano and said, “If your sister were alive we never would’ve been able to afford this.”  That made him feel guilty for decades until he went to the author, Gay Hendricks, for therapy. 

 The first way to get rid of the Upper Limit problem is to spot it in your everyday life.  Worrying is usually a sign that you’re Upper-Limiting.  Especially when it’s about something you have no control over.  When things are going well for us, “our Upper Limit mechanism kicks in and we suddenly start worrying about things going wrong in some way.”  To know if your worry thoughts are justifiable, ask yourself, “Is it a real possibility?”  “Is there an action I can take now to make a positive difference?”

 He writes of a man he counseled who was a billionaire and constantly worried about losing money.  He was mad at his wife for buying the most expensive brand of toilet paper.  Author, (counselor) Gay Hendricks asked him that even if his wife bought a hundred or 1,000 rolls of toilet paper everyday what it would amount to…something like 1.5 million dollars.  He asked him what that was compared to his fortune. The man took out his calculator.  It was less than 1 percent!  The man discovered that he was carrying over the arguments his parents had in their marriage over money. 

 Dr. Hendricks had him go for a week without criticizing his wife.  When the man and his wife came in for the next session, they both looked 10 years younger.  They’d decided to eliminate criticism from their relationship entirely! 

 In the movie, Annie Hall, Woody Allen is running around the bedroom wringing his hands trying to convince his wife of the latest conspiracy theory about the Kennedy assassination.  His wife asks if he’s just doing that to avoid intimacy with her.  He paused and thought for a moment.  And then he said, “You’re right.” 

 People who worry usually feel their worrying is essential for the correct functioning of the universe.  But most of the time it’s completely unnecessary. 

 How to get out of the worry trap

1.       Notice yourself worrying about something

2.       Let go of the worry thoughts, shifting your focus away from them

3.       Start to wonder: “what positive new thing is trying to come into my being?”

4.       Usually you get a body feeling (not a thought or idea) of that positive new thing is trying to come through

5.       Open your focus to feel the body feeling deeply

6.       Let yourself feel it deeply for as long as you can

7.       Later, get an idea of the positive thing that was trying to come through.

 He gives an example of all of this.  But it takes too long to write.

 Criticism and self criticism are basically the same thing.  Hendrickson says we need to be keen observers of critical things that come out of our mouths, or flow through our minds.  We need to sort them into 2 piles.  Pile one is legitimate, like someone standing on your toe in the elevator.  Pile 2 contains all the others.

 The other thing people do that they shouldn’t is deflection.  When someone compliments them they deflect it.  For instance, golfers are horrible with deflection.  When you tell them they did a good shot they’ll say something like they just got lucky.  Instead of accepting the compliment. 

 “The art of getting beyond our Upper Limit Problem has a lot to do with creating space within us to feel and appreciate natural good feelings.” By doing so you  “expand your tolerance for things going well in your life.”

 Squabbling is another thing people do when they reach their Upper Limit.  “If you can learn to see arguments as Upper Limit symptoms, you can make big breakthroughs in getting beyond them.”

 Hendricks says it is vital to understand the physics of arguments.  Person A has 100% responsibility.  And person B has 100% responsibility.  That makes 200% responsibility.  When people think it’s only 100% to be divided between the 2, they both compete for victimhood to prove they are the victim of the situation. 

 The way this would play out in the middle east is if the muslims would say they take 100% responsibility for the conflict and what’s happened in the past.  And 100% responsibility for resolving it. 

 To watch examples of people taking full responsibility, and the wonders it does go to the Big Leap web site.     

 Getting sick, getting hurt…There is a map to deal with this, punishment, prevention and protection.  An example of this was one of Hendricks clients who always got migraines in the mid-afternoon.  When Hendricks questioned him he admitted to having sex with his secretary shortly before.  Even though he was married.  He said he felt more alive than he had in ages.  Basically he was punishing himself by getting migraines.  And his affair was an Upper Limit problem because his life had become too comfortable.  And he wasn’t continuing to grow in his life like he should.  We need to live in our “Zone of Genius so I can feel ecstatically alive all the time without lying and cheating to get there”.

 “The headache is literally a killjoy, saying, “Welcome back to the painful consequences of lying cheating, and not heeding the call to live in your Zone of Genius.”  It took Ryan the better part of 2 years to get into his zone of Genius and rebuild his marriage.  He started mentoring younger executives rather than front-line management.  He started pursuing dreams and visions that had been “simmering within him for years.”

 “Committing a breach of integrity is one of the quickest ways to bring yourself down after an excursion past your Upper Limit.  The most popular integrity breaches are lies, broken agreements, and withheld truths.”

 Clinton is a prim example.  He fibbed about Monica Lewinsky.  It’s a physics issue.  His life was going so well.  He got elected president twice.  His Upper Limit problem told him things couldn’t possibly be this good.  So he acted out.  The lie jammed a pebble in the garden hose.  The flow of positive energy was impeded.  “It took 50 million dollars and a year of everybody’s time to dislodge the pebble.”

 (Note to future presidents who are tempted to tell whopper lies:  the flow always wins.  For irrefutable evidence, have a look at the Grand Canyon.) 

 The first step to wholeness is discovering your story.  So often we lie to ourselves.  Or hide the truth from ourselves.  Doctor Hendricks tells an amazing story on this from one of his clients he helped.  But it’s too long to write.

 “Make a commitment to keeping an attitude of wonder and play while learning about your Upper Limit behaviors.  Tell yourself, ‘I commit to discovering my Upper Limit behaviours, and to having a good time while I’m learning about them.”

 “We all need to be on the lookout for signs of our Upper Limit Problem every day of our lives.  It’s a constant quest, because we’re always raising the bar on ourselves.  The better we get, the better we want to be.”

 One of the first things you need to do is make a commitment to living in your zone of Genius.  You need to make the commitment before you can make good on it.  “I commit to living in my Zone of Genius now and forever.”

 1st Genius question:  “What do I most love to do?  (I love it so much I can do it for long stretches of time without getting tired or bored.)”

 2nd Genius question:  “What work do I do that doesn’t seem like work?  (I can do it all day without ever feeling tired or bored.)”

 3rd Genius question:  “In my work, what produces the highest ratio of abundance and satisfaction to amount of time spent?  (Even if I do only 10 seconds or 15 minutes of it, an idea or a deeper connection may spring forth that leads to huge value.)”

 4th Genius question:  “What is my unique ability?  (There’s a special skill I’m gifted with.  This unique ability, fully realized and put to work, can provide enormous benefits to me and any organization I serve.)”

 Hendricks goes into depth explaining each of these 4 questions.  But this review is already 6 pages as I type it up on Microsoft.  I really feel like I should explain these questions.  But there’s only so much I can write.  I would have to say, read the book.  It is amazing!

 To stay in our zone of Genius we are suppose to constantly be on a spiral up.  And expanding our goals and dreams.  Meditation is a good way to get and keep yourself in your zone of genius.  Focus on your breathing and relax.  Then tell yourself, “I expand in abundance, success, and love every day, as I inspire those around me to do the same.”

 Dr. Hendricks talks about Einstein time.  “You’re where time comes from.”  “Once you understand that you’re where time comes from, you have the power to make as much of it as you want.”  He says since he discovered this concept 20 years ago, he’s gotten twice as much done in half the time.  Most people follow and believe a Newtonian paradigm of time.  They believe there is a finite amount of time and it must be portioned out. 

 Einstein time is related to how much space we are willing to occupy.  A practical example is his explanation of relativity.  “An hour with your beloved feels like a minute; a minute on a hot stove feels like an hour.” 

“If you are forced to sit on a hot stove, you become preoccupied with trying not to occupy the space you’re in.  You withdraw your consciousness to your core, contracting away from the pain of contact with the stove.  The act of contracting your awareness away from space makes time congeal.  It seems to slow down and harden into a solid mass.”

 “When you’re embracing your beloved, though, your awareness flows in the opposite direction, toward space.  When you’re with your beloved, every cell in your body yearns to be in union with him or her.  Your awareness flows out toward your periphery.  You want to occupy every possible smidgen of space in the yearned for present.  When your heart is beating in time with your beloved’s, your every cell is reaching out for total union.  As your consciousness expands into space, time disappears.  When your willing to occupy all space, time simply disappears.  You’re everywhere all at once, there’s no place to get to, and everywhere you are it’s exactly the right time.”

 This is amazing!  I think this is why there is no time in heaven…because we are so in love with God and God is love.  Could this be why God has always existed and always will…because he is Love Itself?  Could this be the answer to one of the greatest mysteries in the universe?!

 “Our Newtonian concept of both time and money is built on scarcity.  The advertising industry thrives on the fact that they know this and most of us don’t.  Advertising encourages us to want a lot of things we don’t really need.  It also encourages us to do a lot of things we don’t really want to do.”

 “I am the producer of time, I can make as much of it as I need!”  “It takes practice and keen awareness to master this concept.  Ask yourself, “Where in my life am I not taking full ownership?”  We need to realize that time is not “out there”.  We are it’s source.  Ask yourself, “What am I trying to disown?”  “What aspect of my life do I need to take full ownership of?”  The principle behind the question is that “Stress and conflict are caused by resisting acceptance and ownership.”

 “A simple way to begin is to put yourself on a radical diet: complete abstinence from complaining about time.  This courageous move will take you out of the victim position in regard to time.  When you stop complaining about time, you cease perpetuating the destructive myth that time is the persecutor and you are it’s victim.”

 One of my favorite pieces of advice he gives is to cultivate at least 3 friends with whom you can form a No-Upper-Limits conspiracy. 

 Well, that’s about everything.  I really liked this book.  I’d give it 5 stars.


Wally

860.  Wally is always a reason to smile and be happy.  :)  Here he is in the Scottish Highlands.  Doesn't it look like a painting?
#OneThousandReasonsToBeHappy

The baby has graduated!

859.  It's the end of an era!  The baby has graduated!  She will be going to college to double major in Theology and Psychology.
#OneThousandReasonsToBeHappy

My wonderful family with Maria on her special day!

Me and Maria


Her classmate Emily, said in a speech about Maria that Maria told her, "Providence gives us the freedom to be who we are as individuals without peer pressure."  Emily also said Maria taught her, "to value good andn meaningful conversations"  and that she likes Maria's "joyful and grateful spirit." and that Maria never complained even though she had an hour commute one way to get to the school.

Maria has Magnum Cum Laude Latin honors which is amazing considering that she didn't start latin until 10th grade and was way behind everyone else!

The graduation room was originally a protestant church.


My wonderful parents

The chapel where she had her graduation

Our cousin did Maria's hair.

The chapel

One of the speakers works for Catholic Charities.  His speech was amazing.  He talked about the importance of forgiveness, love, friendship and mercy.  It was like listening to Mother Teresa!  He said, "Love what you do.  Stay hungry.  It's the only way to be successful.  Do what you do for love.  Love your family, and friends.  Love everyone.  And you love people and God by getting to know them."

Mr. Wolk is Maria's favorite teacher.  He gave a great speech too.  He told a funny story about how Maria ran down the sidewalk to ask the Theology teacher how angels know the temperature.  He is a convert.  So he's on fire.  He said, "The Christian life is not all about you.  It's about spreading charity to all mankind.  If you save one single soul from hell that is greater than any accomplishment on earth."

In other news, one of the teachers named his baby that was just born, Philomena Corona.  After St. Corona.  LOL  She was born in April when the craziness started.













Friday, May 22, 2020

An answer to one of the greatest mysteries of the universe!

I'm reading Doctor Gay Hendricks book, The Big Leap.  Part of it is about the mystery of time.  He writes about Einstein time.  And how it's related to space and how much space we occupy.  Just like Einstein's theory of relativity..."When you're with your beloved one hour feels like one minute.  And when your sitting on a hot stove, one minute feels like one hour."  When we're in love time flies.  When we're unhappy it slows down.  When we're on a hot stove we contract time into ourselves and try to escape it.  But when we're happy we want to occupy all space and become one with our beloved.  Love occupies space.  He explains it in great depth.  And I'm typing a long explanation of it in my book review.  I'll post it to the blog when I'm done.  The book review is incredibly long this time!  There are so many amazing important things in the book that I feel I can't leave out!  

I think this is the answer to one of the greatest mysteries in the universe.  I think it's the reason why God has always existed and always will.  I think it's why there is no time in heaven.  Because we are in love and God is Love Itself.  Love is the answer to the greatest mystery in the universe.  God is the answer to everything!

Thursday, May 21, 2020

7.  My patient took out her hearing aides when I was getting her washed up and into her pjs.  I had to shout in her ear 3 times, "Do you want to go to bed now?"  Then she said, "No.  What I really want to do is go to bed now."  LOL  Everyone at the nursing home is deaf.
#OneThousandLaughs

Wednesday, May 20, 2020

Spring is delightful!

858.  The trees in our front yard are blossoming!  And today was the warmest so far!  I was able to go for a walk in the sun without a sweater!  There are so many people out walking for a change!  Everyone is so happy.  A  red head kid on a 4 wheeler gave me a huge smile and waved.  There was a mom with her stroller and small children at her side.  And one of my neighbors is selling a ton of flowers in her driveway.  There is something about going for a walk in the warm sun with sun glasses, sandals and a pretty dress that makes me so happy!  I'm way more productive and happy in the spring and summer when the sun is out!
#OneThousandReasonsToBeHappy







    
8.  My latest painting...Ship in storm...an Art Sherpa painting tutorial from You Tube.  Almost threw it out so many times!  But I got lucky!  Doesn't look too bad!
#OneThousandPaintings


Tuesday, May 19, 2020

6.  My Mom was opening a plastic box of donuts from Kwik Trip.  And I turned to look from where I was typing my latest book review.  And I said, "Oh, yum!"  She laughed and said, "Just like the dog when he hears something opening."  LOL
#OneThousandReasonsToLaugh

Ice cream will save the world


857.  Went to the icecream shop for the first time this summer.  Ice cream will save the world!
#OneThousandReasonsToBeHappy

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Sunday, May 17, 2020

The Science Behind Original Sin

I've recently discovered Dr. Gay Hendricks through his book, The Big Leap.  I think I'm going to read all 40 of his books.  He is utterly amazing!  In his book, The Big Leap, he is saying we limit the amount of love and abundance we accept into our lives.  That is why people who win the lottery destroy their lives.  And we upper limit ourselves because of fears we have.  He explains it in depth. 

This made me realize something fascinating.  Adam and Eve lost the extreme happiness of being in the Garden of Paradise and the presence of God.  They became fearful and hid.  They lost love of God.  As it says in the bible, "Perfect love casts out fear."  

They didn't love God.  They disobeyed him.  And therefore became fearful.  There is literally a science behind it.  I think this is also why they lost infused knowledge.  I think it's because they felt guilty and therefore Upper Limited themselves.  

And that is why all of us are like that.  Because we inherit original sin.  We inherit their fear and feelings of guilt.  We all Upper Limit ourselves.    

The Big Leap

34.  #OneThousandBookReviews This book is by Doctor Gay Hendricks.  He starts out the book by saying we all have an Upper Limit.  And there ...